The color of red

My mind is a swarm of bees
Buzzing with evil I create
A thousand emotions and feels
Full of anger, wrath and hate.

I seek a way out
To release this demon
becoming more distraught
in my bid to get freedom.

I shake my fist at each new sun
Each time rocked by new rage
Never really having reason
My devil inside, coming of age.

Eyes closed, the world a blur,
I see shades of red,
Drowning in crimson color,
entering the world I dread.

I lash out at loved ones
Make them hurt, and cry
Obeying subterranean summons
I neither know nor understand why.

I trod down dark steps
Messed up, acting as evil
I reach cruel depths
Blunder through free will

Am drowning in my anger
Lacking will to live
I cringe at happiness or
Distort it as I believe.


Forsaken, in my belief,
Forsaken, that is my only relief.

MIRROR ON THE WALL

Staring into the image

Of myself in my reflection

I search for change

To explain my affliction

It bares me as I am

It reveals who I am

Or does it again?

Am I being misled again?

For the left is right

So, is whatever right right?

A mirror does that

Where is the truth at?

I have come a long way

Spent a lot of time whiling away

Searched for reasons and rhymes

Yearning for more good times

The mirror does not know

The mirror only sees

Its purpose is to show

A smile, a pain or a crease

So do I explain why I am?

Or do I hope that the mirror will know,

Understand and accept me as I am

Even with the scars I show

Nothing is for certain

Am adrift alone

I could try to pretend

Just to not be forlorn

But the mirror

It’s still there

In my face

Making plain my disgrace

In the end I choose

To turn and look away

Stop being the muse

There’s no difference anyway

Mirrors show but that’s all

True people lie beneath

To let the facade fall

Needs a courage rare and deep

So take down the mirror

Go on, feel the true you

Satisfy yourself and no other

what matters is only YOU...

Heaven and Hell

This story will be familiar to those who have read Paulo Coelho's "The Devil and Miss Prym"....anyway for those who haven't..read on...


Once upon a time, a man, his horse and his dog were travelling along a road. As they passed by a huge tree, it was struck by lightning, and they all died. But the man failed to notice that he was no longer of this world and so he continued walking along with his two animal companions.
It was a long, uphill walk, the sun was beating down on them and they were all sweating and thirsty. At a bend in the road they saw a magnificent marble gateway that led into a gold-paved square, in the centre of which was a fountain over-flowing with crystal-clear water. The man went over to the guard at the entrance.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” the guard replied.
“What is this lovely place?”
“It’s Heaven.”
“Well, I’m very glad to see it, because we’re very thirsty.”
“You’re welcome to come in and drink all the water you want.” And the guard indicated the fountain.
“My horse and dog are also thirsty.”
“I’m terribly sorry,” said the guard,” but animals are not allowed in here.”
The man was deeply disappointed for he really was very thirsty, but he was not prepared to drink alone, so he thanked the guard and went on his way. Exhausted after more trudging uphill, they reached an old gateway that opened on to a dirt road flanked by trees. A man, his hat pulled down over his face, was stretched out in the shade of one the trees, apparently asleep.
“Good morning,” said the traveler.
The other man greeted him with a nod.
“We’re very thirsty – me, my horse and my dog.”
“There’s a spring over there amongst those rocks,” said the man indicating the spot. “You can drink all you want.”
The man, his horse and his dog went to the spring and quenched their thirst.
The traveler returned to thank the man.
“Come back whenever you want,” he was told.
“By the way, what’s this place called?”
“Heaven.”
“Heaven? But the guard at the marble gateway told me that was Heaven!”
“That’s not Heaven, that’s Hell.”
The traveler was puzzled.
“You shouldn’t let others take your name in vain, you know! False information can lead to all kinds of confusion!”

“On the contrary, they do us a great favour, because the ones who stay there are those who have proved themselves capable of abandoning their dearest friends.”

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.


I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea:

But we loved with a love that was more than love--

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven

Coveted her and me.


And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea.


The angels, not half so happy in heaven,

Went envying her and me--

Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.


But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we--

Of many far wiser than we--

And neither the angels in heaven above,

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:


For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre there by the sea,

In her tomb by the sounding sea.



--- Edgar Allen Poe.

He wishes for the cloths of heaven

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

-- William Butler Yeats

The Luv song......

Dis is like a short journey into my take on luv...wat its done and taught me.....

saw d girl of my dreams in college
was dis luv or just another crush
got to know her
got to luv her and den like her
liked her positives
loved her negatives
dont know what it is that keeps me going back
one fine day i said it and den she said it
life was over in that moment
didnt even flash b4 my eyes
held everything i felt deep within me
lest sumthing was seen...
as a reason to keep away
lest sumthing was perceived
as a wound left open...hurting
didnt even try to forget her
because my heart beats and its hard to ignore
didnt even try to hate her
because dying would have been a easier way out
got into a lot of things i wouldnt have
tring to catch her eye
trying to forget her eyes
those dreams i saw
with all d rest of them
she was always there in them
she was always d reason behind them
dont really know why am penning this down
maybe its my frustration
maybe its my helplessness
whats she feeling for me at dis moment
hate, revulsion or a sort of distant remembrance?
am still in college am still around her
its too little...whatever's left between us
just shattered glasses from a broken friendship
i was to blame and i was to explain
i was always poor at this
was always too scared
too lost to make sense
in the end its all gone wrong
like everything between us
like all the rest behind us
my story ends like dis
luv made sense finally
that luv doesnt make sense
she had to leave
she had enough
she had to go
she had her life to live
i walk on and live my life
i sing along my lonely song
i walk alone; me and my broken song
and i will fade out like my song
nothing here i have to carry along
nobody there but me alone
and i know i will die b4 long
because i can live without my heart...
but for how long........

Ek kavi ki kahaani

Meri khwahishen kuch baaki hain,
Jeevan ek alpaviraam hai,
Kavi ka naam badnaam hai,
Jeevan mein mere liye bacha hi kya hai.

Log kisi aur par fida hain,
Haseenaye doosron ke baahon mein jaane ke liye bekraar hain,
Mera chota bhai mujhse behtar hai,
Jeevan mein mere liye bacha hi kya hai.

Meri maa mujhse naraaz hai,
Mere dost aapas mein kehte hain;
“arre chod yaar, who toh bekar hai.”
Jeevan mein mere liye bacha hi kya hai.

Lekin, sochne lagta hoon main, upar ek bhagwan hai,
Mere maathe par bhi uska haath hai,
Har ek ki andar ek bhagwan hai,
Jiska naam aatma-vishwas hai.

Mere haath kalam ki orr jaate hain,
Kaagaz ko chooker who likh jaate hain,
Log rukkar, padhkar, bole jaate hain…
“wah bhai wah, ye kya likhta hai…!”

Don’t stop to shed a few tears for me,
Don’t want your tears,[feelings] don’t want your smile,
The reason for the pain, the thought behind it all,
Just leave me with my pain,
You have got nothing left to gain.
Break my heart, break my will again,
Leave me lost again.
Same words, same refrain,
Again and again leaves me lost forever…

Sumthin i wrote for a friend during raksha bandhan...

A warm fuzzy feeling,
Like a teddy cuddled,
Its starting to dawn on me
What fun being a brother can be
Hope this service never ends
Hope this makes us more than friends
If we cant be the couple I dreamed we would be,
If being just a friend is just too distant[insensitive],
Then I am sure, pretty much from the bottom of my heart,
That I will still love you,
Still take care of you,
Still fulfill your every desire,
Still look at your face and feel a tremble,
Do everything I can do for you,
But mind you;
As your mothers unborn son,
As your unborn twin brother…….

waking up....

Luv and crushes seem so distant a problem,
Life teaches its lessons slowly,
Maybe it was meant to be this way,
I don’t want to do all the things I thought I wanted to do,
Life comes once; success opens its doors only once…..

Unwinding....

How do you tell her that you love her
how do you make her understand
that its not a game you seem to be playing
how do u distinguish yourself
from the grime that she is used to seeing
its not that simple to be simple
unike the ease with which you can be
different,alternate,wound-up and more....

Still Living...

Am living like am dead
doesnt make much sense
ppl think there's sumthin wrong with my head
let them laugh...atleast at my expense......
All this talk about life
seems for the birds,seems so
distant a dream;a distant hope
life as of now looks so lonely
sad,wrecked,truly wretched
i was a happier man when i had my thoughts
now i have only myself and i am all alone.
this life is starting to drown me
my life force starting to swell within me
all men have dreams, some men live dreams
i see dreams and wonder
what possibly can tear it asunder
a small little voice;the one
that sounds like your soul answers
one word.it tells me,no,whispers
as the wind whispers its secrets
to the dark night,the only one in the world
the only mortal capable of stopping you is


you.